International Talk Like Jar Jar Binks Day

20 things Jar Jar should have said to Qui-Gon after Qui-Gon insinuated he was not intelligent

20 years ago today The Phantom Menace premiered in theaters and the world discovered the lovable character of Jar Jar Binks, patron saint of the greatest Star Wars holiday, International Talk Like Jar Jar Binks Day. Additionally, in that same film, we were introduced to Jedi “Master” Qui-Gon Jinn, whose initial words to our favorite Gungan were rude and unacceptable.

The scene as it exists in the film goes as follows:

Qui-Gon Jinn: You almost got us killed! Are you brainless?
Jar Jar Binks: I spake!
Qui-Gon Jinn: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here.

Jar Jar held his tongue upon hearing this insult, because he is polite, but we here at the official International Talk Like Jar Jar Binks Day website are less polite, and decided to come up with some zingers that Jar Jar could have and should have said back to the arrogant and worthless Jedi. Let us know your favorite reply, or if you have any other comebacks that Jar Jar should have said.

1. Oh yeah? Whatever, bro!

2. You know what the REAL Phantom Menace is? Your face.

3. ‘Tis Demanded by da Gods it is, that yousa shut yousa talkity-trap!

4. Qui-Gon Jinn, more like Qui-Gon Stupid.

5. Da ability to be a jerk doesn’t make yousa not a jerk!

6. I have a girlfriend who loves me. How about you? Who loves you? Nobody? That’s right.

7. Ex-Squeeze-Me, but didn’t your mother teach yousa any manners?

8. I’m unsure of why your character exists. Obi-wan should be the one who does all of the things you do in this movie. Except dying, it’s fine for you to do that.

9. Mesa rubber, yousa glue…

10. Da ability to not speak, doesn’t not not not not not make you intelligent.

11. Oh maxibig, your insult.

12. Nice hair extensions.

13. Mesa gonna crash da bosses heyblibber… into yousa face!

14. I don’t care for you, and neither does any member of the viewing audience.

15. Yaddle is a better Jedi than you.

16. Go take a longo walk, into a shorto lightsaber.

17. Well at least I’m not the one who’s going to single-handedly set into motion the events which will lead to the deaths of all of my friends and plunge the galaxy into darkness for the next 20 years!

18. Pee Yousa! What’s dat smell? Eopie droppings? Oh no, it’s yousa! Do Jedi not know how to take showers? Guess notsa.

19. I don’t know what’s lower. Your midi-chlorian count or your IQ.

20. Okeyday, well let’s see who’s still alive at da end of dis film.

Feel free to imagine Jar Jar saying any of these things back to Qui-Gon when you watch TPM today! May the Force, of Others, be with you!

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